A crack, a split, a tear in the seam
A scab you can’t leave alone.
Locked in, caged, tied down,
A bird, trapped, that had once flown.
Wishing I could switch it off,
Disable the plug of power.
Instead the climb to peace of mind,
Feels like an infinite tower.
I grab and scratch at my tired skin,
Unable to resist, I succumb
The physicality I once felt,
No feeling here now, just numb.
The focus of my saturated mind,
Same thoughts over and over, repeat.
I struggle to calm, rest and sleep,
Talk, focus, function and eat.
Craving blackout, stop the sound,
Silence, quiet, I beg you please.
A moment, a second, respite
Then returning with vengeance to tease.
My screams make no sound
Just my heartbeat, my drum deep
Tomorrow could be the day it changes,
For now, sleep, sleep, sleep.
Helen Aitchison Writes 